As she was very busy working on her My Little Pony craft project with her friends at her birthday party, someone rang the doorbell. It was a special guest just for her, bearing a kitty cat stuffed animal.

To the surprise of everyone in the room, the birthday girl tore back to the bathroom, leaving Wonder Woman standing in a room full of parents and children she had never met before. For a split second, Wonder Woman had that horrible feeling she gets during nightmares of showing up to life without any clothes on. 

But the little girl was only gone for a minute or so because realized that if she was going to give Wonder Woman a hug, then she would need to wash her hands. (She was a very smart and polite little girl!)

All the other children came to see who this special guest was.

Some of them didn’t really know who this person was, but she was wearing a very (tight) and shiny costume.

It was very exciting. Comic books were brought out to sign and everyone wanted to know about Wonder Woman’s more famous friend, Super Man. Unfortunately, Wonder Woman could not remember his planet of origin or his dog’s name, because she was a little nervous and awkward wearing her costume in a room full of strangers.

(Wonder Woman also should never squat or sit in her costume, until she gets really busy on some sit ups at the gym.)

Meanwhile, the little girl told Wonder Woman about the ponies she was painting, what she likes best about Wonder Woman. (answer: a big hug.) and talking about her real kitty cat (who did not come out to see Wonder Woman.)

Cake was brought out and everyone sang and enjoyed cake (except Wonder Woman who after spending 30 minutes with her earthly fiancé trying to lace up the corset costume, decided that she should abstain from cake all together for a very long time.)

Wonder Woman and the little girl had a nice little chat about super heroes and how anyone could be a super hero.

Wonder Woman wished she had thought of that message herself, but it was actually the little girl’s mom who prompted the subject.

Oh well. It was true. And Wonder Woman would have brought it up and all, but was a little green, this being her first gig and all.

But the little girl didn’t seem to notice and to this day believes that the real Wonder Woman really did show up at her seventh birthday party.

A friend of her friend was searching for a Wonder Woman to show up at her daughter’s 7th birthday party.

The friend of the friend looking for WW was named Steffany.

I love Stephanies. Even if they spell their names weird.

And I love birthdays. And I love Wonder Woman. I was so in. Seven year-old apparently lurves Wonder Woman and is having a Wonder Woman cake. So imagine how surprised she will be when Wonder Woman shows up.

I’ve never done this before. But I guess I just ring the doorbell and inside will be a bunch of squealing 7 year-olds. Then I’ll talk a little about the cool bad guys I’ve been lassoing and how I’m from the Amazon, but that doesn’t mean I don’t shave my legs. (Ok, probably TMI for this group)

Anywho, terribly excited in a way that is sure to annoy most people around me for the rest of the week.

So, this is how the morning played out.

 I got up. Usual time. Showered, make-up (but luckily remembered that Wonder Woman does not wear glasses so put in contacts.)

Also, my shelf in the bathroom medicine cabinet decided to come tumbling down due to a peg that fell out somehow. So I slipped and tripped over my deodorant and since the lid fell off when it landed on the ground, I got deodorant all over my foot.  Loverly.

Then I went in my closet and pulled out my costume. I put on the pantyhose and then the elastic  star- print bottoms.

All right. They are panties, but I don’t want to say I put on panties to go to work. That’s just…wrong.

Then I woke up the fiance to help me get into my corset. He groggily got up and I informed him I was kind of running late so if he could snap, snap, you know, come over and tie me in, that would be great.

I got it over my head and he started lacing.

And lacing.

And tightening.

And re-lacing.

It just wasn’t working at all. He’d get the top tight enough so that my chest wasn’t hanging out, but then, it would come loose as he moved his way down the corset.

He was getting mad.

I was sweating bullets.

I was late, half-dressed and now sweaty.

He was tired, not dressed and trying to figure out the mechanics of a corset.

It was a hot mess.

15 minutes later, I was sucked in and “modest.” He let Gertie out and went back to bed. I threw on sweats and a hoodie and ran out the door with the rest of the pieces for my costume in a bag, almost forgetting to grab my pumpkin cheese ball that I made for our office party.

15 minutes into work, I was dying.

I couldn’t breathe. I felt so constricted by the tight corset. I wondered how women in the 1700′s survived. They certainly didn’t eat. Or breathe much.

I made it through our office work party where I showed up in full gear — wig and all, and then changed out of the corset in time to enjoy our potluck lunch.

Much. better.

Also, it was kind of weird to wear spandex panties at work…

So, can you wear a Wonder Woman costume to work? Yes, but I don’t really recommend it. If you like to eat, breathe and show up on time.

Welcome. A lot of you have been visiting my site looking for the perfect Wonder Woman costume.

Well I have one, but I didn’t make it myself.

Meet Holly. She’s the beauty, brains and talent behind this fabulous costume.

I just put it on and suck in my gut a lot.

Oh, you wanted it to wear for Halloween this year?

Silly girl. Not even a superhero like Holly can make that happen at this late hour.  But if you plan in advance, you can have the Wonder Woman costume of your dreams in time for next year’s party.

Meanwhile, I hope you’ll enjoy my blog. It’s pretty quirky around here.

And, if you are still with him next year, I know he’ll like this costume.

For those not on the Wonder Woman bandwagon, tell us your Halloween costume this year.

But  you show up anyway. Because maybe it’s not what you think.

But it is.

And so much more (skin is showing.)

So you smile and take the picture. But an intervention is being planned…

(Thanks for coming, Mom! Happy early Mother’s Day! I know I make you so proud!)

The kids were adorable (and hardly noticed that Wonder Woman was a leper following her shenanigans in the sun in Myrtle Beach last week.) And I only scared half of them back into their parents’ arms.

Some of the “dads” were ogling me, but can you blame them?  (Snort.)

The other super heroes were fun and accepting. (Apparently fitting  in with folks in super hero get ups is as simple as showing up in a scantily clad costume yourself. Go figure.)

And even my mom showed up for the festivities. I’m partially convinced she came to gauge the level of my sanity. (You are going to dress up in what? As whom? Where?)  Regardless, I got a big kick out of my mom in a comic book store.

And the best news is that it looks like Wonder Woman may have some future appearances TBA.

10 a.m. to noonish….

Since Wonder Woman doesn’t have a super pet, Gertie will not be there.

This means two things: 1. You too can own a Wonder Woman (or other super cool super hero) costume. 2. I had to talk to her in order to learn more about this Literary Assassin.

Luckily, she didn’t think I was too much of a freak show when I sent her an e-mail that was basically, “Hi. My boyfriend bought the Wonder Woman costume from you. I think you are cool and I want to interview you on my quirky blog. Here are ten questions. Are you in?”

Ok, well maybe she thought I was a freak show, but she played anyway and here we go…

1. How did you get into the superhero costume creation niche?

Back in 2001 I was dating a guy who was really into Batman, so I accompanied him to a lot of comic shops. Terry Dodson happened to be drawing Harley Quinn’s title at that time and I just fell in love with the art in those books, the design of Harley’s costume, and the loopy way she viewed the world: it was a synthesis of all those things. I was already a somewhat competent stitcher, so I naively said, “I’m going to make that costume for Halloween.” It was the pits, of course. It was the first time I’d worked with spandex, and I was making up the pattern as I went along, so of course I made a lot of mistakes, wasted a lot of fabric. People are often horrified when they see how much I charge to make that costume, but that sucker is a LOT of work.

Still, the suit turned out even better than I’d expected, and in May of 2002 I wore it to ConQuest, the scifi/fantasy con in Kansas City. I should say, at that point I had no real concept of Harley’s significance in the DC universe or how popular she was with fans. When I walked into the ballroom at the Con the audience just roared–it was completely exhilarating. After the pictures of that costume hit the Internet I had total strangers writing to me, begging me to make them a costume or at least tell them how to make the hood. I made a few costumes for people, grossly underpaying myself for my time, and eventually got smart and put the pattern up for sale. Since I’ve been on Etsy my business has just bloomed. Being part of that venue makes me seem respectable, and people feel free to ask me about doing commissioned work. Etsy is awesome–in the last two years it’s become *the* internet place to shop and I’m thrilled to be a part of it.

2. I understand you are into martial arts. If I’m going to wear the costume, are there any moves you would recommend I learn?

I think any babe in a superhero costume has a right and a responsibility to defend herself. For the most part fans are very polite and respectful but there are always one or two lugnuts with nonfunctioning body radar who will invade your personal space.
There are several body-language techniques you can use to keep the crowd at a respectful distance–a long cool stare, squared-off shoulders, and both feet planted firmly. This posture has the benefit of not only conveying bad-assitude, but also looking good in pictures.
However, should some lugnut misread your vivacity for a come-on and swoop in for a hug, simply show him the hand. When he lunges for you, extend your palm toward his face or chest in the classic “HALT!” gesture. Maintain eye contact. Cock an eyebrow, if you like. Say, “I’d rather not, thank you.” He will then back away, grovelling and babbling apologies. Ignore him. Resume looking cool and gorgeous.
Should all else fail, employ this move:

http://www.notoart.com/WW198rev.jpg

3. What inspires you when you are working on a costume?

a) A good design. Obviously this is subjective but I like costumes that are not only flattering but intrinsic to the character somehow, and which have a smidgen of real-world plausibility. The Catwoman costume from “HUSH” was a great one, with the knee pads, goggles and lug-soled boots. Harley’s is great, too–her costume is so indicative of her personality. And right now I’m really keen on Zatana–it’s that whole stage-persona masking her genuine power.
b) A challenge. If I’m going to do a costume it’s great if I love it but even better if it’s something new I get to try. Last weekend at Planet Comicon I had a guy ask if I could make him the Flash, and I was on that concept like white on rice. I would love to do more designs for guys.

4. How much of my cellulite is going to hang out of this thing and what would you recommend I do to help this situation?

It’s strange but you never see Wonder Woman or Power Girl struggling with cellulite or razor burn…. Many costumers opt to wear nude-colored tights or nylons beneath their briefs, for warmth and/or modesty. I can find no fault with this logic–just try to find a pair that aren’t too shiny.

5. I understand you spend a great deal of time in the kitchen. I do too, but it sometimes doesn’t turn out so well. What would you cook for Wonder Woman and why?

I strongly suspect that Wonder Woman follows the Mediterranean diet. Serve something simple, like boneless chicken cutlets pan-seared with olive oil and plenty of herbs; accompany with a spinach salad, some feta, figs, olives; maybe a side of hummus and pita and a little wine.

6. As you know, my boyfriend picked this costume for me, but if someone were to ask you, “which super hero should I dress up as?” how would you advise them?

I find that many people have a character with which they identify strongly but they’re too shy to say. Often I hear “Oh, I’d love to be so-and-so but I don’t have the body for it.” What I do in that case is try to recontextualize the character–break down what the client likes about the character, analyze where they plan to wear the costume, and try to incorporate significant elements into a look that will be recognizable, and with which the client will feel comfortable. For instance, the first year I did Harley I talked a friend of mine into being Poison Ivy. She flat-out refused to walk around in tights and a bodysuit, so I made her a sort of Peter Pan suit out of green taffeta, with a bustier–it was Ivy in evening wear. And people totally got it.

I’ve noticed a trend in recent years toward *interpreting* a look rather than duplicating it religiously–Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies have a great deal to do with this, as does the Steampunk movement– and I think fans are flexible about not requiring an iconic look in costuming. They love a clever visual surprise or satirical twist: for instance a “big, beautiful Wonder Woman” is completely acceptable. As long as the person in the costume has the attitude and puts in the work on their concept and execution, they can carry off anything.

7. What costumes are you currently working on?

Elektra, in the classic red one-shoulder ninja costume. I’m redesigning my Catwoman hood because I’m not yet happy with it. And I’ve got the materials to make an Adam West-style Batman cowl but that’s still on the back burner.

8. What is one tip you would offer someone about costuming as a superhero?

Invest in good underwear.

9. How could I do you proud when I wear my Wonder Woman costume?

Work it, girlfriend! Square your shoulders, toss back the mane and flash the pearly whites! (And I’ll send you some business cards to hand out.)

10. If you could make only one super hero costume for yourself, who would it be and why?

Catwoman, absolutely. I’ve always liked the character, and I’m glad she’s finally got a semi-respectable costume. She’s a loner by nature. She’s capable of connecting with others but she’s very self-sufficient, emotionally and financially. She doesn’t get wrapped up in the morality gloom that haunts the big-boy heroes; she’s a pragmatist. She’s also a bit of a hedonist, and doesn’t apologize for that. At least, that’s my inkblot and I’m sticking to it.

Well we totally bought it, Holly. Thank you for the great words of inspiration. I encourage all of my readers to go out and find their inner super hero…and then get Holly to make you the costume.

P.S. Holly. I owe you measurements, but last night I pigged out on the sushi train with DD Girl (I’m not speaking for her as to whether or not she pigged out. I can only represent myself.) so I wasn’t feeling much like measuring myself. I will try to restrain my eating tonight, or at least measure myself after my run.

The boyfriend went to Comicon on Sunday and well, he bought me a little something. Little as in the amount of skin it will cover…. Something as in a hand-crafted Wonder Woman costume.

Oh yeah!

Apparently being a super hero fan is hot these days, and while I’m not a tried and true super hero fan, I can play dress like one.

Halloween next year is covered.

And the occasional event throughout the year where a Wonder Woman costume may be in order. You never know…

I’m not going to lie. I’m totally digging the super hero thing.

Lunch Bunch Kevin wrote:

Is this a Halloween costume or for when the boyfriend is feeling like a villain?

Wouldn’t he like to know.

It’s just too bad I didn’t have Wonder Woman’s truth lasso when I was married. Maybe some things would have been revealed and I’d have found the boyfriend sooner…