The honeymoon is over

It’s been nearly six lovely months since Mr. Quirky and I tied the knot, and I’m here to tell you that the honeymoon is over.

It ended overnight, to be specific.

In an act of grave violence, I allegedly slugged Mr. Quirky in my sleep.

So one of two things could be true:

A. I am a violent wife.

B. Mr Quirky is making this up to hold it over my head.

Let’s examine both options, shall we?

Option A: It is true that I have strange dreams. And it is true that I have been known to sleep walk, sleep laugh and now, apparently sleep slug.

If this is true then Mr. Q is justified in taking some precautionary measures for his own safe sleeping rights.

And since I am clearly at fault under this theory, I am more than willing to supply any necessary protective wardrobe upgrades.

Being the avid shopper that I am, I have even found the perfect pajamas for my husband.

Advanced Upper Body Suit From Galls.com

Since the punch was allegedly directed at his upper body, I feel that this outfit should more than protect him from any future acts of slumber violence.

But perhaps he would rather take this in a different direction. I am open to the possibility that rather than protect himself, he might opt to restrain me.

And the obvious outfit for restraining your Quirky wife could only be a straight jacket.

Did you know you could get a straight jacket (costume) at Target? Mr. Q loves to shop at Target, so this is probably perfect.

BUT before we make any rash purchases, let’s examine option B.

Perhaps this is all part of Mr. Quirky’s grand plan to guilt me into doing laundry more often.

Obviously, setting me up to wash his i-phone was not an affective ploy. (Well for about a week it worked. I totally did laundry for a week. But after the guilt wore off, my old laundry avoiding habits returned.)

Notice: his ploy was well-timed in that he could feign suffering for two weeks and then it just so happened that the new i-phone was released, allowing him to be the first in the Quirky household with said new mobile device.

So now he has resorted to a new form of guilting his wife. Telling her she acted violently toward him in her most vulnerable state.

And guess who sorted laundry after her morning shower?

Hmph. This situation is looking more and more fishy.  I think I’m going to need a second source before I believe Mr. Quirky’s story.

I’ll consult with Gertie and get back to you…