Answer: Give it to me.
When are people going to learn that I am not equiped to handle living plants? I’ve killed more cacti than 10 drunk grannies on golf carts in Sun City, Arizona. I can’t even save the basil you buy with the dirt in the grocery store. Somehow, it manages to die overnight in the refrigerator
And just when I thought my brown thumb curse was over, I accidentally killed a lovely bamboo plant that was a gift from my boss, after a year and a half of keeping it alive. (Note: they don’t like direct sun.) I’m a botanist’s worst nightmare.
Even though my boss knows I killed the bamboo, she decided to trust me with a second gifted plant. Truth be told, she probably just felt bad leaving me out, when she was giving one to each member of our team. But regardless, I was a reformed plant owner! I would take care of it like my job depended on it. (I really hope it doesn’t.)
I followed everyone’s instructions. Don’t water it too much. put the water in from the bottom, give it light, but not direct sunlight…
I was doing all those things. I was not neglecting it. I even told it I was cheering for it. But one day, I walked in and saw that my African Violet was in the middle of a plant cardiac arrest.
I took immediate action and called my co-worker into my officle for a code green. You see, her African Violet was um…a little better off.
That night, sad plant had open plant surgery (meaning, under the tender care of my co-worker, it was re-potted with new soil.)
It got a new spot, next to happy plant (and no longer in my officle), as we were all hoping that happy plant could rub off on sad plant.
And we waited.
And green-thumb co-worker tried everything – watering adjustments, adding rocks to its pan, new light – but, the curse of Stephanie’s thumb had already taken its toll. Sad plant remained in a plant coma.
While, happy plant will probably miss the presence of its comatose friend, I think it’s time to pull the cord.
6 Comments
I now know why I had to throw away the bamboo plant that I have had sitting in my office window for 2 years now. And why it was pitiful and dying!! funny post!
I’m lucky to have kept my daughter alive for 16 years.
Not pushing my luck by adding plants and animals to the equation.
Oh, honey – my husband and I moved in with two African Violets that had been transplanted from ones his grandmother gave him, lived for years at his dumpy former house and (sort of) thrived. I decided to repot them. They lived for about a year with stellar, flowery results until both caught some sort of fungus and have shriveled down to a nasty little mess. Do you think I should give up on my grand plan to re-landscape the front yard?
No, I think you have the skills I lack. You kept those things alive for a long time! Go on with your bad landscaping self.
ok I TOO have a black thumb, but I’ve managed to keep an african violet alive in an office without any windows… I found the key was one of the special pots, where you just put water in it once a week and let it go from there
It’s all about perspective. You are not killing plants. You are providing palliative care.