Act I, Scene I
Fiance: I think the fleas are gone, so I was thinking that when you leave for work in the mornings, I’d let Gertie get into the bed with me.
QoQ: Yah, but then her hair will be all over the sheets again and it’s so icky. So, I’d rather keep her out of the bed. Besides, she’d inevitably be on my side of the bed, meaning my side would be covered in Gertie hair.
Fiance: Ok. Sorry. (To Gertie.)
Gertie: Rolls over for a belly rub.
Act I Scene II
The fiance enters bedroom after a night out with G-Man. QoQ is sleeping soundly, having had several glasses of wine and a few drinks out following the afformentioned risotto triumph. He gets ready to crawl into bed and there is a Gertie in his spot.
Gertie: Rolls over for a midnight belly rub.
QoQ: Drools and snores.
Fiance: Gertie! What are you doing on the bed?
Gertie: Thumps her tail.
Fiance: Babe. Babe?
QoQ: Huh? [The writer admits she is putting much of this scene together based on very foggy memory that she confirmed in the morning.]
Fiance: You let Gertie in the bed.
QoQ: Really? That’s nice. Snore.
Fiance: Double standard.
He gets Gertie off the bed and crawls in.
Gertie: Sigh and groan from the floor.
