Award Winning Performances Past and Present

I’ve been known to have an award-winning performance or ten.

One thing about me – I love. LOVE award shows. Right now, I am watching the Golden Globes and loving every self-important celebrity speech and every fashion statement (Seriously, Drew Barrymore. Hair? Really?!)

I have no problem blogging the amusing dramatic performances in my life. But there are some I’d rather forget. Being this quirky doesn’t come without some negative quirks. But to forget is to not remember. And to not remember is to not learn from one’s mistakes.

In my top ten list of regrettable,  award-winning dramatic explosions took place in the 24 hours prior to and during last year’s Academy Awards. I was with my ex-husband’s mom and sibblings in the small town where they all grew up. We went out on the town b/c that’s the only thing to do in smalltownville. And we all drank too much. But for whatever reason I had entirely too much. Call it intuition of the split that was to take place two weeks later, or call it stupidity because that’s what it was.

I was a hot mess.

Picture a girl drunk in smalltownville, wearing her cute little sweatshirt from Target with jeans tucked into Ugg knock-offs, spinning around on the dance floor, being silly with her in-laws and laughing at everything without a care in the world.  Everyone loved everyone that night. My soon-to-be ex-brother-in-law told me I was his favorite sister-in-law. (He doesn’t have any others, but I was his favorite!)

I’ve been told that my soon-to-be-ex-husband was up at the bar with his soon-to-be-new-girlfriend and that when the night had progressed past my spinning happy stage, I poured a drink on her.  I can’t remember this to save my life, so I’m relying on witness testimony. But if it’s true, I think it’s among the best things I did during my marriage.

Needless to say the next day I did not feel very well. I’ve never had a hangover that bad. I’m including the night two nights before I graduated from college where I puked in Groomsy’s brand new car. If you look at the Milligan class of 2000 class photo, you will find me the day after. Fun times.

So that night, after laying around my mother-in-law’s house all day, trying to keep food down, I REALLY wanted to watch the Academy Awards. But my brother-in-law and sister-in-law were having none of it. I was PISSED. No, I was FURIOUS. I was out of control.

I stomped into my mother-in-law’s bedroom where I and my lame awards’ show had been banished to, saying some choice words about/to my ex-husband. Only to reemerge several times to tell him what a liar he was for promising to watch the awards with me that year. (We had gone to see all but one of the movies up for best picture that year and had plans to watch the show together b/c I love it so.)

I made a spectacle of myself.

It was disgusting.

And sadly, it’s the way my ex-in-laws will always remember me. I know this.

But you can’t undo the past. You can only learn from it.

Tonight on the way home from the movies the boyfriend called his roommate to have him start recording the Golden Globes so that I wouldn’t miss any of it. I almost melted. It was a reminder that I have the opportunity for a million   do-overs in my life.

While I can’t undo the unraveling of my marriage, I can work on myself so that I can be the best possible partner, lover and encourager. Not the negative drama queen I have previously been. Because I deserve nothing less.