July 14, 2009

No Dice

Last week I got a speeding ticket. It was totally my fault. I was speeding. I had no idea I was speeding, but I was. So the girl who drives like a granny was issued a ticket for going 42 in a 35. Boo.

That story is pretty much uneventful. In fact, I’m done talking about  it. (Until I have to fork up the $90 next month.) But it sparked a nice conversation between the fiance, DD Girl and myself about more memorable encounters with the law.

Since the fiance and I are uber competitive we think you should vote on whose story is better. (Obviously, I have the upper hand as the writer, but I will try to be fair here.) Then, you should share your own story in the comments. Ready? Go!

My Story:

In college I worked at Old Navy and I drove the same car I currently drive. However, since my dad still owned the car and paid taxes for it in Johnson County, KS, it had Kansas tags. (My parents lived in Germany at the time.) I attended school and lived in Johnson City, TN. When I turned 21, I needed a new driver’s license, but apparently the nice people in the Volunteer State don’t find a dorm room is an acceptable address.  Luckily, Aunt Nancy lived a hop, skip and a six-hour jump away in Kentucky. So, using her address as my residence, I had a Kentucky driver’s license.

Got all that? Kansas tags, a Kentucky driver’s license and living in Tennessee.

On my way home from an evening of folding denim, I was pulled over. I was probably speeding because I more than likely needed to get back to study for something I had put off. Mr. Police officer took my license, walked around behind my car and immediately returned to my window.

[Editor's Note: The following scene has been recreated from my memory and is not intended to be an actual quotation of the conversation between Mr. Police officer and myself.]

“Maam, you have Kansas plates, a Kentucky driver’s license and as far as I can tell, we’re still in Tennesee. Where do you live?”

“Milligan College?” I answered/asked.

“Can you please explain to me why you have multiple states represented here?”

“Well, my parents live in Germany, but my dad owns this car in Kansas. He pays taxes, so don’t worry about that. I live in Williams dorm at Milligan, but I can’t use that as my address, so my Aunt Nancy in Kentucky lets me use her address for my license.”

Mr. Police officer returned to his squad car and returned shortly with a warning ticket.

“I’m giving you a warning because quite frankly, you are too much paper work. But please don’t speed again.”

Pretty good story, huh? You liked it? Ok, I’m now going to share this kind of good story from the fiance.

His story:

On his way to somewhere (not important, but it’s probably a very nerdy destination.) the fiance (aka lead foot) was pulled over.  He followed the necessary steps of opening his glove box and handing the officer his license, registration and proof of insuranace.

The officer then asked him to go with him to his squad car. So the fiance turned to his buddies, shrugged his shoulders and said he’d be back.

In the car, the officer asked him point blank was was in the blue baggie in his glove box. Immediately understanding that the blue baggie was under suspicion for illegal substances, the fiance breathed a silent sigh of relief.

He explained to the officer that it was his bag of dice, used for D&D and a variety of other nerdy games.

Needing more proof, the officer asked him to show him the bag. Happy to oblige, the fiance took him back to his car, opened up his glove compartment and removed the suspicious bag. He reached inside and pulled out a variety of die, explaining how a 20-sided die would be used, a 10-sided etc…

Completely baffled, the officer left, shaking his head over the fact that he had pulled over a car full of nerds, and not a car full of criminals. (Technically speaking, of course.)

So now you vote and then you share your story.

July 13, 2009

Looking for someone?

I’m over here today.

You’ll want to head over there to see how I made this:

IMG_0912

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And what these ingredients created:

IMG_0913

July 12, 2009

An Asian themed party in which the guest of honor indicated we should have been throwing a lobster party instead

Lunch bunch Kevin, who wants you to know he is the #1 fan of this blog (and don’t you forget it) e-mailed me last week about the dumplings. His e-mail was something along the lines of “how do you make those dumplings again?” (Even though as my #1 fan, he probably should have been able to extract the recipe from my blog, but I know, I know, that search box disappeared a long time ago and even I can’t figure out how to get it back up there.)

So about 5 e-mails later, I think he had the gist of how to make the dumplings, or at least how to get me to come over and make them for him.  The trick was to throw a party for his roommate, Shane, who had recently returned from a month in Italy. He thought Shane might enjoy the dumplings, some egg rolls, Asian slaw, ribs and the brookies (thank you Kevin for the awesome name for these. And yes, I know they don’t fit the Asian food theme, but I guess that theme stopped at dessert.) The party was for Shane, but perhaps really it was for Kevin and his partner Jim who are moving to Cleveland in a few weeks. But regardless, it was a party and all were in attendance. (Including Gertie who instantly ran upstairs to take a nap with Jim, because that’s the socially acceptable way to be a guest in someone’s house.)

Only Shane had spent the morning at the lake and showed up looking a bit like a lobster. Shane, did you use sunscreen? I asked.

No, I was only out there for three hours.

I responded, That’s 2.75 hours too long to not wear sunscreen.

Anyhow, apparently the dumplings taste good whether or not you have a sunburn.

So speaking of dumplings, I am super hungry and the fiance finally got his butt out of bed so I’m going to take advantage of this fine opportunity to go chow down with my favorite man.  (Don’t worry, Kev. You’re still my #1 fan. You can fight him for that role.)

July 8, 2009

I am ageless because

So, I’m talking about ageless tonight because my friend, Kristin at Ordinary Life is hosting a contest for Ageless for one of us to win money for Blogher. Thank you, Kristin.

Part of the contest involves writing a post about why you feel ageless. So here’s why:

When I got divorced at age 30, I thought life was over for me. I was never going to meet a guy, never going to have a family and was doomed to the D-word title forever.  Then,  I met this awesome guy who was two years junior to me. We met via Match.com. So I wrote to him:

I feel old often, but I think it’s because I re-entered the singles scene and find myself out until 1 a.m. with 23 year-olds who don’t yet want to saw their feet off at the end of the night when wearing a killer pair of stilettos. They also don’t go home and smear on wrinkle cream nor do they have five different kinds of sunscreen for different parts, but I digress…

The age difference never phased this awesome guy and now , after a year of ageless fun (Water tubing, Disneyland,late nights with friends, Wonder Woman costuming, long road trips etc…) we are engaged. I’ve never felt younger with more potential for an amazing future. Age truly doesn’t matter because at 31, I have it all and feel a bright, bright future ahead of me.

July 7, 2009

Clean out the pantry fish dinner

I can hear you now:  Woah, woah, woah, Quirky. You don’t dump the contents of your cabinets on fish. Ew! I know you are on a wedding budget and all, but for seriousness – get some taste buds! Or at least some ramen. 

But, friend, trust me, Queen of Quirky’s clean out the pantry fish is delicious. Thanks to my parents who unloaded the contents of their freezer (and my dad’s weekly Costco habit) prior to their cross-country move, I had a big bag of frozen mahi mahi in my freezer. 

Inside my cabinets I also had a can of chili style stewed tomatoes, a jar of green olives, a small can of green chiles and various spices including red pepper, salt, pepper, cumin, celery salt and more chili powder. On my counter, I had a few cloves of fresh garlic. 

So, I diced up the garlic and threw it in some olive oil on the stove. A few minutes later, I put a piece of (thawed) mahi mahi in the oil, searing both sides. Meanwhile I coarsely chopped some green olives and two chiles. I poured the can of tomatoes on top of the fish and garlic. Then, I sprinkled in a dash of all the seasonings previously mentioned (heavy handed on the red peppers! hot mama!). Finally, I slid the contents of my cutting board into the pan and let it simmer with the lid on for about 10 minutes.

Then I served myself the fish with the tomato topping and juices spooned on top. 

It was kind of like a poor girl’s version of fish Veracruz-style.

And it was yum. The best part is, you could totally improvise – a jar of salsa v. the canned tomatoes, capers v. olives, onions v. green chiles etc…  

It’s not Mexico, but it’s cheap and it’ll do!

July 6, 2009

Do the Wonky Donkey!

What? You don’t know what the Wonky Donkey is?

It’s like the greatest dance evah!

Or, maybe not. But it sure was funny when this dance (and the made-up song) was invented during Saturday night’s game of Trivial Pursuit! Not quite sure how it all started, some question about a monkey wrench got us to the point where we were saying “wonky donkey.” And well, you can’t help but invision what kind of weird dance move it would be.

Speaking of wonky, I won said game of trivia. That NEVER happens.

Hope you all had a great weekend.

July 1, 2009

Seeking: comments

I’d like to see more comments on my blog. And I’m not afraid to say that. A very smart business woman once told me, “If you want something. Ask for it.” So I’m asking.

But I understand that not everyone has something to say on every subject. Which is why I like to give you options:

  • Subject #1 FOOD

Last night I made the not-so- famous dumplings for Roomie, the fiance and DD Girl.  I decided I needed to play with a new dipping sauce so I mixed up soy sauce, rice vinegar, hoisin sauce, siracha sauce and some diced onions. I’m not going to lie. I was kind of in love with it.

Last night was also a foodie heaven night because my Pampered Chef party shipment came in. I was excited to play with my new Food Chopper. As much as I hesitated to buy it for the “gadget” factor, it’s kind of great. The only thing is, you still have to cut things into managable chopping size. So it probably really doesn’t save you a whole lot of time. But what I love is it gets things nice and small. Which is perfect for dumplings.

I’m also looking forward to trying this new cookbook I bought.  Everything in it looks very tasty with a minimum number of ingredients. Perfect for my budget!

  • Subject #2 RUNNING

I still run, you know. For a while I was doing some longer distances (tackled 8 miles), but the heat is really messing with my motivation lately. I have no idea how I ever trained for a marathon during the summer.  I’d really like to do another one, but the thought of doing long runs drains me. It’s nice to go home, throw my running clothes on, grab the dog and knock out two miles.

  • Subject #3 BLOGGY FRIENDS

I’m counting down the days until Blogher. But I’m finding it hard to explain to my friends who don’t blog or care about blogs why on earth I’d be so excited to spend a weekend in Chicago, sharing a room with another blogger I have never met, learning more about, well…blogging.

Meanwhile, I’m reading some great stuff out there in the blogosphere. Unfortunately, one of my favorite writers won’t be at the conference this year. But you should read thisfunnyobservation of what happens to your parents when you have a kiddo.

  • Subject #4 (speaking of kiddos) FAT BABIES

Love them! I mean who doesn’t love a fat baby? So last Saturday the fiance and I were hanging out at his parents’ house. His cousins brought their 15 month son over. And let me tell you – he’s a big boy, a rolly polly, smiley, happy big boy! And it’s odd because his parents and his four-year-old sister are all petite.

Fiance’s Mom gave the baby a plastic bowl and a wooden spoon to play with, thinking he would use the spoon to bang on the bowl. But no. This was a fat baby. He had other things in mind. He turned that bowl over and started stirring the air with his spoon. A-dorable! I foresee a Top Chef in our family’s future!

  • Subject #5 FOURTH OF JULY

Wow, last year I had all these plans and then I ended up crashing my car . What a weekend. (Talk about trama for Gertie who was in the car when we wrecked and was so scared that she pooped a little on the seat. Then, later that night she had to endure fire works. Poor girl!)

Things are a little more calm this year (I hope?) but one thing I didn’t write about from last year was on July 3, the then boyfriend and I said three little words that we will be saying to one another for the rest of our lives. God bless America! (Oh wait, those weren’t the words. :) )

June 29, 2009

When a girl throwing t-shirts lets you know you aren’t that smart

Or, you try out for Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and #fail.

That’s right kids. The fiance and I drug ourselves out of bed this morning to live the dream.

That is if the dream is being squished between 300 people, taking a scan-tron quiz and witnessing some of the worst impressions known to man – all before 7 a.m.

Why would we do this to ourselves? Well, we heard they were looking for engaged couples for Wedding Week in November, and well, it seemed like fun.

We arrived at the casino location of try-outs to see that people just don’t follow the rules very well. It SAID you weren’t supposed to line up prior to 6 a.m., but reports were people lined up as early as 4 a.m.

Also, casinos at 6 a.m. in Kansas City? Not so cool.

Then we followed the cattle coral into the big auditorium where we were “entertained” by a gal from NYC throwing t-shirts at people who could stand up and do impressions of people, characters or (yikes) animals. It was painful to watch. (Dude. Your Sponge Bob Square Pants little diddy? I’d drop it.)

45 minutes later, we did not make the cut. It was a bummer too, because I was wearing this cute little strawberry dress and red cardigan. We so would have gotten in on fashion, had the producers just taken the time to meet us.

<sigh>

Next time I’m trying out for something that doesn’t require a scan-tron test.

June 29, 2009

To Smoosh?

A real conversation with the fiance’s mom:

FM: What kind of cake do you guys want? (she is making it.)

F: Makes a face of indifference. (He isn’t big on cake.) I probably won’t eat any.

Me: Yeah, all you care about is the cake smoosh. I know your type. You are such a smoosher.

FM: Woah. No you won’t! I think it is totally awful and aggressive when people do that. I won’t make your cake if you are going to smoosh it in her face. If you want to smoosh it all over her body later, then that’s fine but promise me you won’t smoosh it in her face.

Me: Jaw on the table. Covering my mouth. I can’t believe she just said that!

F: Shrugs. He knows his family.

FM: PROMISE!

F: Fine.

June 25, 2009

Blame it on the dog

Now I know what you are saying. (Especially if you’ve met Gertie)

What did Gertie do to deserve this post?

We’ll get to that.

First, have you ever had a day when you start off on top of the world, then the stress builds, and just when you think  you may be able to conquer stress event #1, stress event #2 hits you like a thousand tons of rocks? Well if not, you’ve clearly never tried to plan a wedding on a budget. Or heck, a wedding at all.

So, after that whole drama (still pending, but pushed off to the side now. Stay tuned to Quirky Wedding for updates and details) the fiance and I thought we should get our minds off it and go grab a drink and something to eat.

We waited for the rain to die off.

And on the way out of the fiance’s uber steep driveway which has concrete barriers along the side, his car scraped the side and his lower fender partially fell off and was dragging on the street.

When he went inside to get his toolkit to try to remove it, he heard Gertie was barking. (Something she rarely does.) It was a steady woof. woof. woof. Logically, he figured she had to go out. Nope. Because I took her out and brought her back in and she was still barking when he returned to put back the tool kit. Apparently, it was from the stress of being left alone with the storms. (She had exhibited signs of stress earlier in the evening)  There was no way we could leave her in that state, considering G-man was home and, well that’s plain maddening.

So here I am drinking a glass of wine and eating a bowl of ramen noodles.

It is totally the dog’s fault. All of it.